By Danna Downing
Many of you know Elizabeth (Betsy) Wagner. She and her family have agreed to share their journey as Betsy moves into assisted living where she can get the help she needs and the independence she craves. “I will miss everyone here in Vicksburg, but at the same time I look forward to the future,” she states at the outset of our interview.
Her daughter, Diane, is with us this day helping Betsy pack up the clothing, furnishings, and treasures that she will take to her new home at Brookdale Senior Living in Battle Creek. Brookdale is a small and cozy facility, only five minutes away from where Diane’s family lives. It is also “on the way” to where Diane works and situated just off from I-94 for easy access to family and friends who will be coming to visit. “We chose this place because it will be easy for me to get to know my new neighbors and navigate safely inside my new home,” reports Betsy. Betsy is truly a people person. She already knows from early visits to Brookdale that she “won’t be lonely.”
It was a couple of falls and the fact that Betsy’s close neighbors here in Vicksburg had begun to “worry about her” that triggered this decision. However, the family has collaborated closely with their mother over the years to carefully keep all options open, fondly connecting when and where needed with love and respect. “I am ready,” shares Betsy, but we do have our moments when there is both laughter and tears.
Betsy feels incredibly grateful for her family and friends. Her youngest daughter, Diane, is a registered nurse who resides in South County. Her son, David, a construction supervisor, lives up north with his wife, Connie. David recently made the 3 ½ hour drive to be at one of Betsy’s doctor’s appointments. Son Bob lives in Tennessee, 13 miles north of Nashville, retiring as a vice president of technology. Her other daughter, Mary, is an administrator for the Good Samaritan Health Foundation in Cincinnati. They all play important roles in Betsy’s life. Diane, living the closest, serves as team leader. The girls have regularly taken their mother on adventures to celebrate Mothers’ Day, including a trip to the Kentucky Derby where the photograph accompanying this article was taken. Even though their family is all over the map physically, they have built connections that are manifested in Betsy’s clear involvement in each of their lives.
Betsy’s small apartment is filled with unique gifts and memories from friends and family. For quite some time she has been urging friends and family to visit and take anything that is an important reminder of their relationship. Her contact info is shared here with permission: Send letters to Betsy Wagner, Brookdale Senior Living, 191 Lois Drive, Apt. 16, Battle Creek, MI 49015. Her phone number is 269-649-3558.
Every time I have visited with Betsy, it has been a time of learning. It was no surprise that during the interview she offered a couple of gems worth sharing.
The first comes from a sign her mother put over the family phone (which was a party line in the beginning):
“So much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, it little behooves any of us to talk the rest of us.”
The second was learned from her English teacher:
“Boys flying kites, hauling in their white wing birds.
You cannot do that with flying words.
Thoughts unexpressed, however, fall back as dead birds.”
Thank you, Betsy, for sharing this bridge from your life to guide those of us who will carry on in the future!
