By Danna Downing
One in four American adults are caregivers. Most caregivers have other jobs or responsibilities while spending, on average, twenty-four hours a week caring for a loved one. Furthermore, one in six adults who are not currently caregivers expect to provide care in the future for some friend or family member. Add to the mix, the fact is that 70% of us will need some type of home or long-term care services before we die. Is it time for you to learn more about becoming a good caregiver? Is it time for you to think about how you would find a good caregiver when you need one?
If so, read on.
There is an interesting intersection in our aging process where we must think seriously about both providing and receiving assistance for someone trying to age at home. It can begin by simply finding someone to mow the lawn, pick up groceries, or perform other household tasks for an older friend or neighbor. Sometimes the helping relationship develops to the point we become a member of an informal team who supports a primary caregiver. This primary informal caregiver will gradually develop and implement a customized plan for enabling the older adult to live independently in his or her home for a much longer period of time. All of us have the opportunity to support a primary caregiver in one or more ways.
The gifts of time – helping with respite care to allow the primary caregiver to take care of business or simply take a little break, providing moral support during difficult times, or assisting with transportation and various household tasks – are invaluable. Even in this role, we want to be honest with ourselves and the caregiver about what our limits are. We also want to be careful to respect the family’s privacy and to keep our commitments made to the family as much as humanly possible. The primary caregiver has a big job in coordinating between medical care providers and other home and community-based services that the older adult might need. Your part in the plan is relatively small, but essential to the comprehensive plan. Good coordination is critical to the primary caregiver. It is also a wonderful way to learn more about caring for a friend or relative yourself someday.
Ideally you and your family will make time to create a plan for assisting an older adult to enjoy aging in the comfort of the home. Unfortunately, many potential caregivers are “thrown” into the role of caregiver. When that happens, it can be overwhelming. It is never too early to start to acquaint yourself with resources available in your community. If you are thinking about becoming the primary caregiver for an older adult, you will want to learn as much as you can about the best ways to help. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to find training opportunities and a list of services available in your area.
When and if you are called to duty as a caregiver, you should first ask yourself: “Am I physically, emotionally and financially prepared to take on this responsibility? While you can learn a great deal on the job, it is highly recommended that you shop around for training or seek out media resources that can be useful. The healthcare providers you will be working with usually are great sources of information and support. However, the more experiences and learning opportunities you have under your belt, the more comfortable you will be facing this decision.
Above all, you will need to learn that you must take care of yourself during this time. Your initial reaction to this advice might trigger responses like these: What does it even mean to take care of myself?! How can I possibly think about taking care of myself right now?! What happens to my loved one while I am away?!
It is extremely easy for your needs to get lost in the caregiver environment. You may want to write and post this valuable reminder: When my needs are taken care of, the person I am caring for benefits too. After that, make yourself a list of things you like to do that are easy and fun. Look at the list often, especially when you feel overwhelmed. Remind yourself every day that the work you are doing now is the best gift you can give your loved one. However, you do not have to do this alone.
