By Kathy Oswalt-Forsythe
Holding doors, offering to help, sharing a smile. Kind gestures many people practice regularly. Today, I find myself approaching situations more cautiously, saying things like “would it be okay if I helped you with that?” I think this comes with aging and recognizing my own limitations which are often frustrating.
Like most parents, our mom and dad believed in good manners and politeness and were very clear in what they expected of us. Through their own actions, they demonstrated many caring acts: countless open invites to holiday meals, respect and attention paid to the oldest members of any meeting or gathering, or generous sharing of resources to those in need.
And, in our lessons to our children, like our own parents, we tried our best to nurture kindness.
Rob Kuhlman, one of my former principals, gave an inspiring example of quiet kindness.
When I was ready to re-enter the teaching profession, Rob hired me to teach Special Education and English at Vicksburg High School.
I would describe Rob’s interactions and guidance of our high school students as parent-like. He is genuine, consistent, and unassuming. But kindness is one of Rob’s strongest qualities, best exemplified by a quiet gift to one of our students, Taurean, and his mother.
Taurean was obsessed with the Green Bay Packers. He wore Brett Favre jerseys, he knew the stats, he watched every game. Taurean faced some academic struggles and could become discouraged and feel defeated in the classroom, but his mother was a strong advocate, and by the time he entered high school and my classroom, he was on a clear path to graduate.
Rob was always good with our kids and knew who needed encouragement or a push to improve behaviors or academics. Rob got to know Taurean, and they engaged regularly in sports banter. Taurean knew that Rob, raised in Minnesota, wasn’t a Packers fan, so I’m sure Taurean enjoyed bragging after a resounding Green Bay win.
Now you wouldn’t know this if you met him, but Rob has connections. He was a former collegiate football player and coach, and one of his former college players, Sean Payton, was coaching for the Dallas Cowboys who were scheduled to play the Packers. Rob asked Taurean’s mother, “If I can get you and Taurean tickets to a Green Bay game at Lambeau Field, could you get him there?” Tickets to the legendary Curly Lambeau Field? Well, of course!
Rob knew Taurean needed encouragement and as he tells it, “Taurean was worried about a big test coming up. I told him if he could get a B or better on the test, I would get him tickets to a Green Bay Game. I’m not sure he believed me.” Later that week, Taurean came running up to Rob and “waved his test in my face. He got an A-!”
Not only did Taurean and his mother attend the game, but Sean arranged for sideline passes. I only learned about this adventure later when Taurean showed me some pictures. There were no splashy PR announcements. No self-seeking praise. When I thanked Rob, he just said something like, “It meant a lot for me to be able to do that.”
Genuine kindness.
Now most of us don’t have that kind of connection, but most of us do have some time and a few resources. We can regularly do something that lifts another person and helps in some way.
Perhaps a phone call to someone homebound. Or help a neighbor with yardwork. Maybe a kind word to the tired parent at the grocery store whose toddler is screaming in the checkout lane.
John Wesley, English cleric and theologian, spoke these famous words: “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.”
Yes, there is still much to be done. Small kindnesses to show. Differences to make at any age.
It’s a Fine Life.
