In a recent conversation, a friend reminded me of an old joke. It is about an old guy reprimanded harshly to “act his age.” He was a quick-witted fellow and responded quickly: “I will certainly try to ‘act my age,’” he said, “ but you should remember that I have never been this age before!”
I remember as a child being given the same warning many times. I may have given the idea a quick thought, but usually dismissed the caution, moving on to other more important matters. I guess I should have paid attention because at my ripe old age I still grapple with what it means to be my age.
I have to admit feeling regretful when I can no longer snap my fingers to the music in West Side Story with the Jet dancers or with other snappy favorite songs from those early years. Alas, I must rely on fond memories and find some other ways to move with good music that satisfies my desire to heed the tempting invitation to move my body.
These days I find myself cheering on friends and loved ones as they complete their physical therapy sessions or alert them to opportunities to keep on moving to stay young. These days our household subscribes to a mantra that goes something like this: “We can’t do all the things we used to do, BUT we will do the things we can do, by golly.”
Understanding, empathy and compassion are essential to providing ourselves and others as we age. While we all age in our own unique way, there are many common issues we will all face. One important way to learn how to learn how to do positive aging is to actively put ourselves into the shoes of other aging seniors we know or observe. Another pro-active thing we can do is to search for humor in our aging process. Humor goes a long way to putting difficult challenges into perspective which also allows us to become more friendly with the whole aging experiences.
Healthcare professionals and other caregivers receive special training in a range of conditions due to age, such as hearing impairments, finger dexterity limitations, and visual losses that may loom in our futures. I remember vividly a simulation exercise that I participated in when I went to a Bronson Healthcare employee orientation. Nowadays some call this training The Aging Game. It requires the would-be helper to become sensitized to the needs of older people. Our group put on special pairs of glasses that interfered with our vision while trying to read directions. At another station we put on thick gloves before putting a puzzle together or buttoning a shirt. Some of us had to put in ear plugs while completing a wayfinding exercise in hospital halls. What a clever way to turn the tables and learn first-hand how to assist people with these types of physical challenges. It certainly was a game-changer for me.
I grew up in a home with one blind grandparent and another grandmother with dementia in our family. I was also present for my parents as they grew older. This is also another supreme learning experience as I grow older myself.
Above all, however, it has been seeing the love and understanding that was required from all of us that left an indelible impression on me. That impression has been key to helping me face my personal aging process as well.
Providing love and tenderness to everyone going through a tough time is a challenging and rewarding task. But it is inevitable and definitely worth the effort. This is especially true if we do not forget to take the time to laugh and cry along the way.
