It feels like my whole life has been spent learning, following, or developing systems: trying to figure it out, create more efficiency or determine what works best.
When we were growing up, parents demanded certain behaviors, especially in public. There was no “talking back” or questioning for our generation. If we asked why, it was “because I said so.” That followed into the classrooms, too. A rigid behavioral system.
My parents were gentle but firm. We eventually figured out where there was some wiggle room and what was fixed. We had very strict bedtimes. Set mealtimes. Regular expectations. This home system ran smoothly.
During teenage years we had a girlfriend system. We called each other nightly. We talked about the next day’s outfit, how we would wear our hair, and where we would meet the next morning. Phone calls were strategically planned as most of us had party lines and had time limits. This system gave us increased confidence.
I recall systems when we had our children. But just when we thought we had something figured out, it all would change. We were never able to cement a parenting system. Perhaps all parents feel this way?
Teaching required all kinds of following, developing, and managing of systems. Grading, attendance and classroom management demanded continual monitoring. The teaching of writing was both challenging and rewarding for me. Writing-to-be-read is a process with many steps. I tried to lead students through multiple drafts of a final paper: prewriting, handwriting, then typing. Many students wanted to skip the planning phase, so I eventually used paper punches to encourage some hard work in the early stages, which resulted in a better final product. (For example, they showed me a completed organizer for a punch, another punch for a handwritten draft and so on. This held all of us accountable.) I collected some fun punches over the years, and I know when my students followed my system, they became stronger writers.
I am trying to implement some systems to keep the house tidy. As empty nesters it should be easy, right? We could clean up and it would stay that way? But it is still a struggle to maintain an orderly house—perhaps because it’s lived in. Possibly it’s because I have collected too many things to manage, but that’s a future topic!
An article surfaced on my Facebook feed several weeks ago explaining a “no-dishes-in-the -sink” strategy. Basically, when you use dishes, utensils and pans, you immediately wash them or you load them in a dishwasher, if you have one. Common sense, right? Since I read this, I am working to keep an empty kitchen sink and have found it helps me have a sense of order. A new system.
I recently had several visits with my Aunt Linda who is one of the best home managers I have ever met. She has always kept an exceptionally tidy home—and throughout her life she canned, baked, and until just a few years ago worked alongside my uncle in the barns. I have always admired her seemingly effortless system while wearing many hats.
“Well yes, I have a system,” she said when I asked her. “I always made the bed in the morning and cleaned up the kitchen after every meal.”
Hmm. I think she has some tricks she didn’t reveal because those two things sure don’t keep floors swept and bathrooms sparkling!
This will require more conversation.
And perhaps she will reveal a few more layers of her secret system!
It’s a Fine Life.
